Days Two - Five

This week I've still been getting in the right mindset and attitude about things. It's hard,but when I feel myself starting to get a bad attitude about something, I'm reminded of my challenge. It's also been hard because I've felt so busy, but that should really be no excuse.

It'll take a few more days, but I think I'm going to finally get this down and it will be easier to act like Christ more out loud.

Day One

My focus today was just to get in the right mindset for my challenge. It took a lot of reminding myself that I am working towards something greater, and a lot of cleansing of the mind. If I started to make judgments about a person, for example, I would stop those thoughts and try and look at them like Jesus would.

 I've also realized today that I'm really going to have to be creative to get out of my comfort zone. I have a really scary feeling that this is going to be harder than I expected, but I'm determined to do it.

My 30 Day Challenge

I've felt so disconnected lately. I've been on a spiritual low the past month or so with all the chaos of school, activities, and other frustrations of life. The end of this semester is going to fly by and I know I'm going to be busy with schoolwork, but I'm also determined to get my spiritual life back on track.

I still stand by my belief that living like Christ draws you closer to Him. I preach it to my friends and even gave a devo about it to my social club. The problem is, I have a really hard time living what I teach. I truly want my spiritual life and relationship with God to improve, but I've just been caving in to distractions and forgetfulness.

So I've come up with a challenge for myself. For 30 days I'm going to do at least one thing daily that makes me go out of my way to act like Christ. It may be serving in some way, showing love to a person who needs it, whatever I feel Christ would do. Some days I may need to just focus on prayer, other days I may just need to serve someone. I need to get out of my comfort zone and take a little leap of faith each day to really challenge myself.

To keep myself motivated I need friends to keep me accountable. I will talk to my best friends so that they will daily hold me accountable. I'll also ask friends and those who follow my blog to keep following and hopefully see the amazing results of my challenge. I will post my findings/experiences/actions or whatever you'll call them as regularly as possible. I ask that if you follow my blog, don't be afraid to comment, question and/or encourage. I'll need it, and seeing that people actually follow what I'm up to will be a great source of motivation.

I also encourage you to take up the same challenge. You don't need to blog about it like I'm going to, but keep a private journal of your results and thoughts. You can even share your findings here if you'd like, I'll definitely reply to them. It's a whole lot easier having someone going through the same thing as you.

I'll be honest and admit that I'm kind of scared of my own challenge. I really like my comfort zone, and I don't really want to leave it. At the same time, I know it's what I need to do, and I'm excited and curious to see how this goes and where it'll take me in my walk of faith.

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness."
-Phillipians 2:1-7

Living Like Christ

Something that has been on my heart recently is acting Christlike. I know, I've written posts about this already, but I just need to say more, and how it's affecting me on a more personal level.

I truly believe that the best way to know and love Jesus Christ is by living and loving like He did. I know we can't be perfect, but as my orchestra teacher always said, "Excellence is as close as it gets." So why can't we excell at being Christians?

We forget. We don't want to change. We don't want to be different. I'm a good enough Christian already.

Excuses. Excuses.

The other day someone was upset by everyone's Unchristian behavior at our 'Christian' college. He sent an e-mail to the entire campus, telling us we were acting Unchristian. It caused a lot of talk around campus, and a lot of people believe it was an overreaction, but I can't help but think, is it?

I'll let you think that one over yourself. I want to go on with this acting Christlike thing.

If you read my last lecture, you'll know that I talked to a man named Roger, who is my prayer warrior and sort of spiritual counselor. When I talked to Roger last fall, I asked him how I could grow closer to God. His answer was telling me to read His Word, and obey it. Do you know how many verses are in the Bible about obeying the Word? There's a lot. The book of James is a good one to read.

Let's take a look at James 1:22-25:
Do not merely listen to the word,
and so deceive yourselves.
Do what it says.

Anyone who listens to the word
but does not do what it says is
like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and,
after looking at himself, goes away and immediately
forgets what he looks like.

But the man who looks intently into the perfect law
that gives freedom, and continues to do this,
not forgetting what he has heard,
but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does.

I think a lot of the time when people read their Bible, or go to church or some other worship event, they walk away feeling uplifted and inspired. It's a good thing, but how long do we usually feel that spiritual high? A week? A few days? A few hours?

What gives us that spiritual high is usually the message we receive. The words we hear inspire and encourage us, and give us instructions on how to live better for God. We know what to do, and how we're supposed to be, and that confidence gives us the high we're looking for. But why does it die so quickly?

We forget. We get distracted. We don't want to make those changes we need to.

Do I sound like I'm repeating myself?

The point I'm trying to make is that for the most part, Christians know what we're supposed to do. Like Princess Mia says in Princess Diaries, "The concept is grasped, the execution is a little elusive!"

We know what we have to do, the trouble comes in actually applying what the Bible says to our lifestyles. It is hard, and I struggle with it myself. But the best way to go about it is to gather all our courage and do what we're supposed to. We may have to ask a friend to be an accountability partner, it's always easier if you have someone going through the same thing with you.

Pray. Study your Bible. Talk with an accountability partner. Pray some more. Journal. Whatever it is that will help you focus and grow as a Christian.

It will feel be a struggle, but it will make you stronger and grow closer to God and those around you.

Times - Song Interpretation

The song "Times" by Tenth Avenue North has been my prayer song lately. I'll post a link under the lyrics so you can listen to the song while you read this.

This song is one of my favorites because it never fails to describe what I'm going through in my relationship with God.

Verse One:

I know I need you.
I need to love you, Lord.
And I'd love to see you,
But it's been so long.

I long to feel you.
I feel this need for you.
And I need to hear you.
Is that so wrong?

Verse 2:

Now you pull me near you.
When we're close I fear you.
Still I'm afraid to tell you
All that I've done.

Are you done forgiving?
Or can you look past my pretending, Lord?
I'm so tired of defending what I've become.
What have I become?

Verse 3:

I hear you say:
My love is over, it's underneath,
it's inside, it's in between.
The times you doubt me.
When you can't feel.
The times that you question: Is this for real?
The times you're broken,
The times that you mend.

The times you hate me,
and the times that you bend.
Well my love is over, it's underneath,
it's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing
and when your heart breaks.

The times that you feel like you've fallen from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry and attempted to steal.

In times of confusion and chaos and pain,
I'm there in your sorrow,
under the weight of your shame.

I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love, I will keep you by my power alone.

I don't care where you've fallen,
or where you have been.
I'll never forsake you.
My love never ends.
It never ends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRN0QPXrdR8

I really love the first two verses of this song. I don't know how many times I've had prayers that sound like that, almost word for word. So the first time I ever heard this song, however many years ago it was, I fell in love with it and it sort of became my power ballad for God.

The third verse is my favorite. God really speaks through to me and every time I hear this song I am comforted and relieved and ready to continue my conversation with Him. That's about all I have to say, since I want you to listen to the song yourself and see what you get out of it.

Passion

Okay, first off, I must apologize for not posting anything in a while. But I don't think anyone's been checking in daily either, so ya.

Well, I recently went to Texas for spring break. I went with a couple of other students from the college, and we went to Camp Eagle to help them get ready for the summer. And boy, was it beautiful down there.

I think sometimes I forget what I really love. I love being outside and being in nature. Here in the middle of small-town Nebraska living in a college dorm I don't get a lot of outdoor time, besides walking to classes. And being in the Texan wilderness really revived my love and excitement for being outside.

What I really love about being outside though, is that it gives me such peace and joy and contentment that nothing else can. I feel safe and like there are no worries in the world. Especially when I'm in the wilderness hardly tainted by man. At Camp Eagle I got some free time and wandered off by myself. I went down by the river and found an old dock and just went out and laid on it.

I just sat there and looked at the fish in the water, a turtle popped it's head out of the water every once in a while to get air, and a duck was swimming around, diving under the water to try to catch a bite to eat. I also got to watch a little sparrow fly around the cliffside trying to catch insects to eat, and there was a black squirrel that occassionally peeked out of the rocky wall.

And that's all I did. I sat there and took everything in. I prayed a little and thanked God for His wonderful creation and told Him other things that were on my mind, but out there in His creation, I felt closer to Him than ever before. And even though I was giving Him all my problems, I felt content and assured that everything was okay.

You know how long I sat there? Well, I don't think I even know how long. I don't know when I went off on my own, but it had to have been at least an hour, because I was fifteen minutes late for dinner.

Anyways, even though we worked hard down in Texas, we got enough free time so that I could go off on my own for a little bit everyday. And it was when I was on my own, in the wilderness, that I felt closest to God.

Now, I have a feeling that if you're passionate about something, and if you apply it to God, it's an easy way to make a connection with your Heavenly Father. So if you love being outside like me, find a private place in God's creation where you can sit comfortably and talk with Him. Maybe you're a people person, and spending time with people and sharing your faith with them is what makes you feel closest to God. If you're a server and just love to help others, praise God while you serve. I don't know what your passion is, but use it to grow closer to God.

This is one of the great sights down in Texas.

My Last Lecture

Okay, by request one of my friends asked that I post an essay I wrote. This essay was for my freshman seminar class, and basically we had to give a last lecture, what we would want to share with the world before we leave it. So I wrote mine and shared it with Lindsay and a few other friends. Well, here it is:

What Would Jesus Do?

                A lot of you don’t know me very well, so first I’ll share a little bit about myself. I grew up in Appleton, WI. My parents are still married, and I am the oldest of five kids. I was raised in the Church of Christ, which I am extremely grateful for. I’m sure I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t been raised in that church.

Honestly, I came to York College solely for the spiritual aspect. I was afraid if I didn’t go to a Christian college, my faith would slip away. I am so glad I ended up here. I have met so many amazing people who have supported me and helped me with my spirituality. Today I want to share with you what I have learned in my time here.

When I arrived at York, I wasn’t sure where I stood in my faith. I believed, but I felt wasn’t praying enough and that I just didn’t have that ‘spark’ in my relationship with God. I wasn’t sure what was wrong, why did I feel like God just wasn’t there? If I was sure I believed, then why was I still having all these questions?

I was struggling with this for a while, but during high school days my answers came. One of my ‘prayer warriors,’ Roger Dunnam, came to visit that weekend, and I got a lot of time to talk to him.

I was very blunt with him, and jumped into what I was dealing with. I asked him, “I’ve been struggling a lot lately with my relationship with God. Why don’t I feel something, I mean, I’m praying as often as I can, but I feel like I have a one-sided relationship. I see other Christians who seem to be so excited for Jesus, they worship and are raising their hands when they sing, they seem to have it all down.”

Roger stopped me right there. He said, “Amber, first of all, people worship in different ways. There isn’t a right way to worship, except that you’re actually worshipping. Some people lift their hands and sing their hearts out, while others, like you, may be quieter about it. There’s isn’t a set in stone way, it just matters that you are worshipping.”

As soon as he said it, I felt like it was the most obvious thing ever, but already I felt my burden starting to lift. But my heart was still heavy; I still wasn’t sure why I wasn’t feeling anything.

Roger asked me how often I was reading my bible. Apparently, not often enough. He had me open to the book of James, where he shared some eye-opening verses with me. He had me read James 1:22-25:

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it – he will be blessed in what he does.”

                What? This wasn’t the answer I was looking for. Roger sensed my confusion, and explained the verses to me.

                Most of us know the Ten Commandments, what the greatest command is, and know what is good and bad. We may have them memorized, and for the most part we are living like Jesus told us. But the answer to my question was becoming clearer as Roger went over these verses with me. We know what the bible tells us to do, but like the man in the mirror, when we’re not reading our bibles, we forget what we’re supposed to do. The bible tells us that if we look into the perfect law and not forget, and do what we have heard, then we will be blessed.

                As I thought deeper into it, it made more and more sense to me. If we follow Jesus’ will, and obey his word, we grow closer to him.

                I see it like this: when I’m not getting along with someone, I try to put myself in their shoes. If we do this with Jesus, we could better understand him and feel closer to him. By obeying his word, and living like Jesus did, we grow that much closer to knowing him.

                How many of you remember when the phrase “What would Jesus do?” was popular? I had a WWJD bracelet and thought it was the coolest thing ever. But I was young enough that I didn’t truly understand the meaning behind it. It’s possible that a lot of people didn’t get it either. It was just cool to wear something that had to do with Jesus. Because Jesus is cool.

                But how many of us took those words to heart? I know I didn’t, but now as I’ve had this epiphany, I realize someone was on to something when they said “What would Jesus do?”

                I have a New Year’s resolution, though I plan to put it into action before the New Year even comes. If I remember to put myself in Jesus’ shoes, and ask myself, “What would he do?” then I can grow closer to him.

                I’m still a work in progress, but these are my words of wisdom for today. And I don’t expect immediate results. Living a life like Jesus did, accepting and loving everyone, putting others first, it’s going to take a lot of work. I expect it to be hard at first, and very trying. It may take time before my heart’s fully in it, like Jesus’, but I’m sure that with time, it will get easier, and maybe not a challenge anymore, but a lifestyle.

                I want to challenge you to this lifestyle as well. I thought I was alone in that I thought I had no ‘spark’ for God. Roger told me I wasn’t, and by continuing to live a Christ-like life, eventually that spark would come. It takes time, but the results will be rewarding and life changing.

                Cheesy as it is, I want to leave you with these words today. What would Jesus do?